Change

It’s easy to pretend everything’s okay. It’s easy to lose track of what really matters in life. Who really matters.

I write this post with overwhelming sadness. What was once joy and excitement for the start of the next few months, has now become worry and uncertainty. I say this not to cause worry for you, Dear Reader. I say this to enlighten you on what is going on, if Crochet Buddies and our other sites go silent for a while.

My grandmother’s dangerously ill. We’ve dropped all our plans, all other travels, and are now about to fly back and see her. We’d been planning to go before, but now is our one and only chance. It’s going to be a long journey hereon. But we need to be there.

Sometimes one text message is all it takes, on a seemingly normal morning. Just like that, everything turned upside down. I don’t know when, or if, things will go back together again, or how they’ll reconfigure henceforth.

My grandmother’s a strong, wonderful person. She’s been through so much; through numerous trips to the hospital, and endless rounds of medication. She’s survived it all. But her condition is worsening. Right now, we’re doing all we can to be there with her; for “closure,” I keep hearing. That word makes me cry.

Don’t waste a moment thinking you can wait to spend time with someone: don’t give yourself a false sense of stability because of an “I’ll spend twice as much time with you tomorrow” impulse. It doesn’t work that way. Time is one of your biggest enemies. It’s talked about often as a hypothetical infinity. But time is finite. It can’t be reversed.

Now I look around and see half-filled suitcases, boxes, projects, and things I once saw as “treasured possessions.” There is so much to do in this short amount of time. I don’t know how long it will take to get there, or where we’ll stay, or how long we’ll even be there. Everything is without certainty right now.

As far as Crochet Buddies goes, I’m going to do my best to get the next Monthly Recap posted, by tomorrow at the very latest. After that, I don’t know when I’ll be able to post again. I pray and hope that things will work out. That we’ll be able to see Grandma again, soon.

Please pray for my grandmother. And please do yourself a favor, for everyone’s sake: Love your family. Don’t distance yourself, and don’t let work or school distance yourself. Remember that.

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